About two months ago, I successfully completed my undergraduate education at UC Santa Cruz. The experience was a long and formative one – I learned so much about the world and myself, and have to come to understand many more things about both. I was privileged to be able to do field research in rural Missouri, and get to explore the social and political realities of a place completely unlike the Bay Area. There, I learned more about the U.S. and our current political paradigm, and I also learned more about myself and my own white settler cultural roots.
A big part of this period of my life has been the act of discovery. I am continually discovering both myself and the world around me. I started out as an art major and ended up with a degree in Community Studies and Education, two academic areas which focus mainly on modern social issues. I shaved my head, entered my first queer relationship, started playing the bass, built up some serious community organizing chops, and went from googling “how to steam broccoli” to being a fairly accomplished cook and baker of tasty vegan cuisine. I lived alone and without internet and discovered I loved it. I am still discovering and mastering the art of adulting (baby steps). I have discovered what it means to be a white upper middle class person in today’s political climate and continue to learn more about all the systems in this world whether they be systems of government, economics, systems of domination and oppression, and emotional and moral/ethical systems which command our social world and shape our context. Learning all of this, I have become so much more conscious of my own position within my tiny micro-universe but also within our country and world.
Graduating in the time of Trump and attempting to navigate this world of heightened Neo-nazism and emboldened hate speech is a harrowing experience. My parents told me that when they graduated from Eastern Illinois University in the 80s, they felt like they had the world by the tail and couldn’t wait to “get out there and make some money”. I have trouble mustering that same enthusiasm and optimism when I’ve grown up my whole life watching things like 9/11 and the Iraq war unfold (along with the saga of Bush idiocy), enduring the recession of 2008, and always hear the background whispers about worsening climate change. To come of age in the midst of a time of heightened overt racism and violent upstarts from neo-nazi groups who experience no police brutality (my thoughts and love go to Charlottesville and the victims of the rally – please look into how you can help) is a trying experience. Some days it’s difficult to keep it up.
But in the face of all these things I see around me that I do not want, that I want to tear down and destroy, even though it is very easy to despair, I find that what gives me hope is to focus on building the things I do want. I have been reading and writing utopic fiction, letting myself daydream community gardens and affordable housing and drug rehabilitation services. In 16 days, I will embark with my partner and two friends on what we are calling The Radical Mapping Project, a fieldwork journey focused on documenting and learning from the lives and organizational strategies of radical activists around the U.S. We hope to gather data which will help connect and strengthen the network of organizations working to create an alternative to the toxic gentrifying racist-capitalist-patriarchy we find ourselves in. I could have gone t seek the security of finding a salaried job already, settling in somewhere and preparing to be there for a few years. But this is a dangerous time, and I feel called to do something beyond what is safe. I feel called to strive for something better, to use my own skills and resources to create, rather than simply settle, hide, and keep my head down.
Some days it feels like the world as we know it is coming to an end, and I think it is. We’re in a serious period of transition in many ways, and I want to contribute to that transition by creating things I want to see in our new world: community, equality, greater representation and involvement of POC, Indigenous, LGBTQ+/QTIPOC folks, and food, water, shelter, health, and love for everyone. These things are some of the principals I see in the radical activist culture my friends and I will be documenting in the Radical Mapping Project. Adbusters is calling Trump’s election the beginning of a “new world”. I don’t want to live in Trump’s world, so I will use this time and this volatile energy to perform acts of creative resistance. Embarking on the Radical Mapping Project marks a moment for me where I step beyond the bounds of safe, predictable, expected actions. Let the new world begin.
I am beyond thrilled that very soon I will have the chance to talk to many amazing and interesting people who are engaged in creating a new world founded on justice and equality! If you want to know more about the Radical Mapping Project, our collective, our route, and how you can support us, check in at our website, Facebook page, and GoFundMe! I hope that this little thing I have written here helps others address their own feelings over the current political climate (rage, fear, and confusion, anyone?), and embrace their own power and autonomy to create good things and safe(r) spaces in the face of a government and neo-nazi movement that are so not-good and unsafe. If you have any thoughts, questions, or just want to talk, please feel free to contact me. (Also, here’s a little something for further inspiration, a 1988 speech from Vito Russo, an Act Up activist who was diagnosed with AIDS.)
With love, zest, and courage,
Photos: 1. Trans Youth of North Carolina by Hunter Schafer for Rookie Mag, 2. Artwork used with permission by artist Sybil Lamb, text added by RMP collective.